MAR’ 20

26

 Well, things have changed.

After a week of reacting to school closures, cancelled gymnastics and swimming classes, rescheduled and, then, postponed playdates, a spouse suddenly working from home, et cetera, et cetera, et cetera, things are calm enough at home now that I can tip my head back to survey the surreal landscape of our lives. I acknowledge the suffering, the fear, the anxiety, the impatience, the loneliness, the closeness, the frustration, and the yearning for inner peace in our lives and the lives of all others around, near and far.

But, I also see silver linings.

Time regained for togetherness, neglected projects at home, extra morning cuddles and leisurely dinners. I see our neighbors out on bikes or on foot, instead of zipping away in their cars. I’ve reconnected with a good many friends. We have had multiple occasions to be of service to family and neighbors. And, in the last week or so, I have had some very profound conversations with my husband that I feel has brought us closer together.

Once we gave up the struggle to function as though it were “business as usual” and allowed ourselves to wade into and be carried by the messiness of the moment, we were able to find creative ways of going with the flow to meet each other’s needs. He works less so that I can have a break midday and he takes Willa outside before dinner so that I can enjoy some solitude. I used to exercise in the mornings but have switched to the afternoons because Willa naps in the afternoon. This way I don’t have to work out with a three year-old hanging off of me and Davis doesn’t have to take another hour out of his work day to keep an eye on her. We have relaxed a bit about screen time and allow Willa to watch a show or two in the late afternoon when we’re all tired and likely to say or do something that we’ll regret.

It's the softening here and there of our expectations for ourselves and each other that have really made the difference for us - instead of feeling like we're "just getting by," we're coming to enjoy this strange time.